How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
