The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Dignity is for republicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
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