my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
