I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
