Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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