He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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