yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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