you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
