Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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