If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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