That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
