please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
