Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
