Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
