Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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