Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
