So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
