Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
