Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
