saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
