What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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