i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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