A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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