Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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