I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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