I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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