There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
