My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
