i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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