We won't sleep together?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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