i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
