is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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