a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
