Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
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I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
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she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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