Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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