Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
