Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
