I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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