Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
