Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize