i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
