Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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