Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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