I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
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At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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