is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
