im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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