can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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