If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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