Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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