he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Randomize
