My friends, they love my intelligence
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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