Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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