she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
