Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
