Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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