Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
