I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
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All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
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You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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