sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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