I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize