What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize