i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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