I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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