bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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